Fifth Frame Brewing

“This place will blow your skirt up, gentlemen.” – a damn genius

Creeper in the window

Fifth Frame Brewing is downtown, in the St. Paul Quarter. Many of the beer names are homages to bowling alleys, and the rumor is that the tabletops are actually made out of bowling-lane wood. They make their own coffee and brew their own beer (off-site, but still like right around the corner on Joseph Avenue). The beer taps open at 8 a.m.! #daydrinking

As you walk in, you’re immediately greeted with the appropriate ambiance: brick wall, pipe-smoking chair where you think about the 19th Century Victorian mystery you’re trying to solve, drinks and such on a shelf. Light bulb sticking out at a Seussian angle. Scuff marks and scruff marks and shuffleboard marks.

The riddle, so far, was now unriddled…

Bo, Dave, and Pat all ordered the drip coffee in a mug (1 free refill, don’t forget!). The obligatory photos of the coffee in these beautiful glasses litter this page, litter our Instagram account, and litter the internet as a whole. There’s a reason for that. The glasses are beautiful, and the coffee looks glorious when the morning sun strikes the coffee mugs at the proper angle, sometimes illuminating the cream you’ve poured within, other times revealing the location of the Well of Souls.

Image result for well of souls indiana jones

Take back one kadam
Pat wanted to be sure that we mentioned that there are spoons instead of stirring straws. But see the Brooks Landing Diner post. Pat just really, really likes spoons.

The coffee was appropriately bold, strong, and bitter. And you feel like a badass drinking it out of those mugs. Greg ordered the “3:1” espresso to drink, and it tasted a little nutty. He enjoyed the foam art on top (we all did!), in the shape of a leaf! Dave asked Greg if the drink was a cappuccino. Greg said, “No, it’s a 3:1.” Then the waitress said, “That’s a cappuccino.” No one knows how much shame Greg felt at this moment, but on a scale of 2-3, it was likely a low 3. Or perhaps a high 2. He ordered the biscuits with honey butter and jam – delicious. The bottoms were perfectly golden brown and the insides were fluffy and tasted great, with or without the butter! There are all manner of biscuit accouterments here – be the first on your block to try ’em all!

The 3:1
Biscuits
Classic breakfast sandwich; before
Classic breakfast sandwich; during
The King Bastard; during
a doughnut (pronounced “donut”)
Birthday cake for breakfast = winning

Image result for cake every morning night kitchen

I mean, I guess. But like, every morning? In the Night Kitchen gave children unrealistic expectations of appropriate breakfast foods… until Fifth Frame came around! Now cake is totally appropriate. 
FYI, creepers bake cake and play lute-spoons in your kitchen while you sleep every night. Sweet dreams.

The atmosphere was modern and had LOTS of natural light (see Pro Tip, infra). Also of note: tons of outlets (110V and 5V USB – just like Jim’s on Main) at the bar! Charge your phone while charging (coffee) or decharging (beer) yourself! We stood at the bar like cowboys while drinking the coffee, then sat at a table like city slickers when our food arrived.

Fifth Frame Brewing is a fun and unique breakfast spot! I feel the need to return and try some of the specialty coffees. I feel the need to return and try some of the beer. From now on, The Xonuts Blog is just going to be the Weekly Fifth Frame Breakfast Blog. With 10 as a must-eat, this breakfast locale rates a high 9.


Don’t Miss: The king bastard. The classic breakfast sandwich is great, but the king bastard’s spicy pork sausage makes it mouth-wateringly unique!

Pro Tip: Giant windows mean sun in the a.m.! Sit with your back to the window or bring sunglasses or sit closer to the bar or just don’t be a wuss.

Pro Tip #2: Don’t mess with the rules and don’t step out of line; no parking in front between seven and nine!

Pro Tip #3: If the parking enforcement officer gives Pat a ticket, run out to your car and park it on the opposite side of the street before the officer gets to your car.

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