Shmeg’s Restaurant

“I think this is the menu item that killed Elvis” – Dave [paraphrase]

2018 Bo’s Choice for Best Side (potatoes)
2018 Dave’s Choice for Best Side (potatoes)

Powerlines aplenty in Gates NY
Shmeg’s is like tucked away over on the left

We haven’t reviewed a lot of West Side places.

So we decided to go to a West Side place. Shmeg’s. They have breakfast garbage plates (although, spoiler alert, we did not partake this time. The intriguing menu with intriguing menu items intrigued us away from the garbage plates and towards other intrigues).

It’s in a little strip mall that is easy to miss. Bo knows this because he missed it and had to do a K-turn in traffic on Buffalo Road whilst cars were about to crush him, just like in a movie. And, just like in a movie, he made it into the parking lot and off the road with mere seconds to spare, his tires a-squealing.

Bo entered the restaurant

The menu was creatively and artistically drawn:

The Plate X-M is terrifying. The Waffleopolous (pron. “waffle-ah-pole-us”) is terrifying. If you’re a wuss, get a 2-egg chubby.

As was the specials menu on the wall:

The “King Elvis” is the thing that Dave said killed Elvis. They were out of it, so Bo was forced to order a waffleopolous.

Dave ordered a 3-egg breakfast burrito. They’ll do eggs any way you want! (but recommend against sunny side up because it will become destroyed upon trying to make it go into the burrito). He got scrambled. Bo ordered a half-waffleopoulos with two meats: bacon and bacon. Crispy. And scrambled eggs, plz. We both got potatoes on the side for an extra dollar, which is the best decision either one of us has made in our entire lives.

The bacon + bacon waffleopolous
The breakfast burrito
“They use crunch-wrap supreme technology” for structural cohesion.

Oh yeah and coffee comes in these quaint little mugs:

The waffleopolous was that perfect blend of savory and sweet (especially when Bo whipped out his real maple syrup, poured the perfect amount on 1/2 of the sandwich, spun the bottle around a few times, put it back in the holster, and said, “I’m Maple-Syrup Bo; I’m the sheriff of this town.”) He was going to go halfsies: syrup on half (i.e., quarter), not on the other. But the syrup on sector A was so successful, that the program was expanded onto segment B. The sandwich was, overall, very enjoyable and very filling; if you don’t mind a sloppy-looking plate (or, for that matter, if you don’t mind syrup getting on your eggs, a.k.a “sweet takin’ over the savory”), the waffleopolous just might be right up your alley. Also, as someone who has a hard time deciding between sweet and savory, Bo recommends both.

Dave’s burrito had real homemade sausage in it! Sch or Meg was the genius mastermind behind the sausage. It starts off sweet, but evolves into a savory flavor upon mastication. The other competitive advantage over Jimmy Dean and other sausage king wannabe is their thickness. Whereas most sausage patties clock in at the .25″ to .30″ width, these bad boys are closer to .47″ (more volume equals more flavor – in all three dimensions!).

Miscellany:

  • It’s called Shmeg’s because Shawn and Meg run it.
  • The syrup that comes from the restaurant is of the Log Cabin variety.
  • There are boxes of Genesee Cream Ale because that’s the beer they use for their homemade bread and for their beer-battered fish fry
  • You don’t order at the counter, but you pay at the counter.

With 10 as a must-eat, this restaurant rates a 9.


Don’t Miss: The potatoes! They’re an extra $1, but well worth the expense. Spices. Good taste. Good consistency. No Frank’s red hot needed. Spare no expense.

Pro Tip: Do not – we repeat – do not even think about ordering this food unless you haven’t had a morsel to eat in the past year. The servings are ridiculously large, and the flavors are ridiculously ridiculous.

2 thoughts on “Shmeg’s Restaurant”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *