Boxcar

This morning… is the morning of mornings. We now embark on a Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon us.

2018 Dave’s Choice for Best Sweet Menu Item (crème brûlée donut)

June 1. Dave has selected Boxcar as the donut destination. Good. We haven’t been here yet, and for a blog whose title ends in -onuts, we have an embarrassingly small number of actual donut shop visits.

It’s a sunny morning on Railroad Street, near the Public Market. Boxcar opens at 8 a.m. (an hour past our usual time), so Dave and Bo kill some time walking up to the market and talking about how the Rochester Black Hand (sort of a pre-mafia mafia) extorted the banana king here.

The interior of Boxcar is delightfully warehouseish.

*It’s also a plant and stegosaurus shelving locale*

*It’s also a steam pipe trunk distribution venue*

The donuts are split into “first class,” “executive,” and “coach,” a.k.a. steerage. You have more fun in steerage, esp. when standing on your toes during the Irish folk dance, but with first class you have a greater chance of getting a spot on a lifeboat. The cost for the different classes is $2, $3, and $4, in reverse-respective order.

Bo ordered a cold brew (cold brews come with a free sprinkle donut on National Donut Day!), a lemon (steerage), and a pistachio (first class). Dave ordered a coffee (one size fits all), a cherry icee (executive) and a crème brûlée (first class!).

The donuts were, in short, outst-

In slightly longer, they were outstanding:

In this photo, you’ll notice that the lemon is in focus, and the pistachio is not. The lemon flavor was omnipresent, like all of the other flavors. Essentially, this is the antithesis of the donut shop where everything is basically just sugary and sweet and looks different but tastes sort of the same. Each flavor unique. Each flavor in its right place. Each flavor sacred. Each flavor distinct.

The vanilla flavor in the sprinkle donut was one of the strongest, sweetest vanilla flavorings the guys had ever tasted. Even with the freebies, they don’t skimp!

The cherry icee, too, was strongly flavored without being overpowering. The texture was a nice surprise; sugar crystals crunched under tooth and spilled over tongue, gleefully plummeting to their death in stomach.

*The sugar crystals glitter like the skin of “vampires” in the sun*

Dave reached for the crème brûlée and received a shock: it was so heavy that it was nearly impossible to lift! He said, “My saying of the day is something like, work out beforehand so you can lift the donut, then work out afterwards to burn off the donut, but make the quote better.” The *brûlée* was actually *brûlée*, as can be seen in the photo. The creme was rich, thick, and drippy, and yellow, and smooth and delicious. And the *brûlée*d shell was crispy and sweet.

*Same thing re: pistachio, except pistachio flavored. It was rich, thick, and the flavor was infinitely distinctive.*

Image result for 2001 eyes — *Your eye upon eating the pistachio donut and realizing the impossibly-infinite bounds of flavor and texture, and the unknowingly-complex mixture of topping, frosting, and filling.*

The donuts at Boxcar are quite possibly the best donuts the Xonuts guys have ever tasted. For real, get there now and eat donuts. Just remember, as the old saying goes: “Work out beforehand so you can lift the donut, then work out afterwards to burn off the donut.”

With 10 as a must-eat, this dining experience rates:

$\frac{10\left|\lim_{n\to\infty}\left(1+\frac{1}{n}\right)^n\right|}{2}$

Don’t Miss: The crème brûlée. But. They might have a rotating flavor selection, so try any of the first class donuts.

Pro Tip: The donuts may seem pricey, but after eating them, you’ll be glad you coughed up the extra dough.

2 thoughts on “Boxcar”

Bill says:

June 2, 2018 at 6:25 pm

This review was, in short, trem-

In slightly longer, it was tremendous.

These always make me hungry. Great descriptions and creativity, boys.

Mimi says:

April 16, 2019 at 6:52 pm

Can’t wait to try this? If I ride my bike there, I don’t believe the calories count.

Bo

2 thoughts on “Boxcar”

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