“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” – Dave, amid his descent into madness
2018 Dave’s Choice for Best Savory Menu Item (Queen’s benedict)
Wheee!
You step inside and knock the snow off your boots. The hollow wooden floor booms. The door clasps closed behind you, shutting out the “wheeeee” of the chill December winter storm warning. The sun she’s a-rising, but in here it’s brightly lit and warm and filled with baked goods. One entrywayfull of baked goods.
Bo had the “Wonderland” scram, comprising scrambled eggs, diced ham, and sharp cheddar and mozzarella cheeses. For his side: taters. For an upcharge: a tater topper. What kind of tater topper you ask? How dare you. And it was the “Rabbit’s Way” tater topper, comprising roasted red potatoes, hollandaise sauce, and parley. Parsnip. Parsley.
Dave had the “Queens” Benedict, but to our shame, and the shame of our great nation, he did not substitute duck bacon. Taters. Tater topper: Alice’s Way (“roasted red potatoes topped with cheddar cheese & smothered in our British herb gravy”). Dave says, “savory.” Nay, Dave says savsavoryory because of the multi-dimensional layers of savory in the meal. And that description, our loyal readers, does not even approximate the level of savory approached by this meal. H.P. Lovecraft is known for concocting nightmarish creatures that defy description (though will cause insanity for the unfortunate souls who encounter said creatures). Likewise, the Mad Hatter Restaurant and Bakery creates meals so intensely savory that they are likely to drive patrons a little mad.
Lexi had the oatmeal with a handful of twenty-four (24) blueberries. And one (1) scrambled egg.
And two (2) gingerbread men for the table. These were the only sweet items on order today, but the menu had a tasty-sounding challah french toast and a tasty-sounding stuffed peach french toast. Those belong to future Xonuts bloggers, maybe in 2019 when we’re able to repeat places and aren’t so unhealthily obsessed with going to a new place every week. To them and their posterity will we commit our future. They will continue the voyages we have begun and journey to all the undiscovered countries, boldly going where no man – where no one – has gone before.
Bo’s toast came with blueberry preserves from Arbor Hill Winery. The preserves were quite tasty! You put them on the bread with a little preserves spoon. No high fructose corn syrup here. Or, maybe there was, who knows? But the point isn’t the actual ingredients; the point is the flavor. What I’m trying to say is, the preserves tasted like real blueberries you’d get from a winery. Which they were.
The food was high class. It tasted so. Lexi’s sole scrambled egg was just that: a scrambled egg. No complaints. That’s what she ordered. Now, as for the oatmeal, children, it came with not one, but TWO different types of sugar preapplied! (Which is awesome for Xonuts regulars, but a little overpowering/overkill for nonsugar people). The oatmeal itself was well-flavored from the almond milk and the consistency was perfect for steel-cut oats. And if you get the blueberries, make sure you like blueberries! They’re about 10 cents apiece.
The Wonderland scramble was soft and flavorful and fluffy and slightly-wet-but-in-a-good-way. The potatoes, volumetrically superior to the eggs, were the real main course. Bo failed to finish them, but not for lack of quality. They were soft, but not too soft. They were, in fact, just the right amount of cooked/not cooked. They almost, almost, reached Shmeg’s-level quality, but for the lack of spices (which is not a knock on these potatoes! They, after all, did not advertise themselves as spice-laden!).
There is Alice in Wonderland stuff everywhere. And fir chandeliers for the high holy days. And doorknobs.
This place does an afternoon British High Tea thing where you make reservations and there are doileys and stuff. Go check out a high tea blog for more info.
The Mad Hatter has pricey but tasty and filling food! Stop in for a meal or stop in for baked goods. With 10 as a must-eat, this dining experience rates a 9.
Pro Tip: There’s free Wifi – check out the little boards on the walls with the password!
Pro pro tip tip: Perhaps because the restaurant is in an old house, it tends to be cold. We sort of remember going here a while ago and being cold then, too. Wear a coat and scarf and hat! Layers! Cotton kills!
Don’t Miss: the tater toppers! Don’t eat regular potatoes like a shmuck!
“Go check out a high tea blog for info” 🤣🤣🤣