“Why would you ever get up this early? This hour is ungodly”
– our pleasant Xonuts guest
Predawn.
This week our slogan-picker and contest winner decided to cash in on his free breakfast. He selected James Brown’s Place, an intentionally-divey place on Culver, in the city, near Merchants.
Street parking was plentiful at 7 a.m.
It was 7:01 a.m. and the place was not yet open. The lights, dark. Then a shadowy figure walked out of the kitchen and into the main dining area. She approached the door, at which some of us stood, and said she would have the lights on in a moment. Also, the cook had not yet arrived.
We sat. We ordered coffee. We took a gander at the menu. The server was very friendly and the coffee refills were fast and furious; that is, they were the monitored sale of some 2,000 firearms to key figures in drug cartels, but the majority of which remain unaccounted for. Coffee quality was set to “diner/faculty lounge,” a notch above “truck stop” and 25 notches above “kitchen of Roger Simpson, 1310 North Seventh Ave., Apt 12A, Oroville, CA.”
Not for girlie men
Dave ordered the pulled pork breakfast tacos. Bo ordered the banana walnut pancakes. Contest Winner Aaron ordered a Mexican frittata (on a page of the menu that is not pictured here). We noted that the “favorites” were marked by a little red “JB.” That’s how you know it’s approved.
The food arrived at around 7:45—probably because the cook had to show up and turn on the oven and wait for the oven to warm up and make the food and stuff.
The banana pecan pancakes were fine. Real maple syrup (smuggled in illegally, Fast n’ Furious style) and butter was added atop, which made it also fine. The short stack (2 pancakes) was more than enough. The cakes were large. They were fine. The potatoes, when topped with hot sauce, were rather enjoyable, a pleasant mix of chew and crunch.
The pulled pork tacos were really good. It’s rare that you are given an opportunity to have BBQ-sauce-smothered pulled pork at the ungodly hour of 7:38 a.m., but JB recommended it, so Dave indulged.
JB delivered on his promise. The combination of pulled pork, sauce, eggs, and cheese painted a decadent portrait in his mouth. The potatoes tasted rotten, however, so he abandoned them.
The Mexican frittata was called “Mexican” because it was made with chorizo. They have good chorizo. But in Contest Winner Aaron’s humble opinion, today’s frittata was a little overdone.
So, James Brown’s Place is cash only. They have an “ATM machine” (automated teller machine machine?) in the basement. But it’s like totally creepy down there! Bo went and got murdered!
Please refer this sign to the Department of Redundancy Department 
Abandon hope 
Este no es el bano
James Brown’s Place is better than your average greasy spoon.
Don’t Miss: The pulled pork tacos!
Pro Tip: They might not be “ready” for you at 7 a.m. It is, after all, an ungodly hour.
Another Pro Tip: Bring cash so as to avoid being murdered in the spooky scary basement!
